Right now, I feel so confused about staying or finally moving on. My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and 3 months, needless to say at first it was like a fairy tale love, she wrote me poems, showered me with gifts galore, and loved me like no other. At the time, she was in a serious 4 year marriage to another woman, which was just stupid on my part to even go there. Currently, they are still legally married, bit have been separated for the duration of our relationship. As I look back, I realize that she may do the same thing to me, and throw me out like garbage when someone else comes along. Things have been slowly eroding over the past 8 months, the cutting, the suicide attempts, manipulation, and blame.

After the first hospital they signed over guardianship to my mom’s mother, who is my favorite grandma. But I had to continue to see my father after he was released from prison. I remember hiding in the school library because I was so scared of him.

For example, one study demonstrated that women with BPD symptoms reported greater chronic relationship stress and more frequent conflicts. Also, the more severe a person’s BPD symptoms are, the less relationship satisfaction their partner reports. Some studies show that single people live less long and are less healthy than people who are happily married. By year four, Betty is in psychotherapy and on anti-depressants. Her friends and family hate Bill and refuse to hear her mention his name. Bill did not mean to ruin her life and crush her dreams.

BPD and Romantic Relationships: If You Really Loved Me

If you or your partner are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911. People with borderline, narcissistic, or schizoid personalities have difficulty sustaining mutually satisfying intimate relationships. Rather than filling the role of caretaker for your partner, you should encourage them to take responsibility and accountability for themselves and their actions. Encouraging responsibility can even strengthen a relationship. Your partner needs to be committed to healing and improving themselves.

Borderline personality disorder and relationships

You must also be willing to offer emotional support. This will be very demanding, but your patience is the key to making it work. A person with BPD can develop better behaviors, so you just need to support them through the learning process. If you are living with BPD, you have probably experienced how hard it is to form long-lasting relationships.

What Is the Definition of Borderline Personality Disorder BPD?

If your partner is being treated for another disorder and that disorder does not fully explain the parameters of her behavior, have the doctor investigate the potential that she has BPD. Maintaining patience and setting reasonable goals are critical components of your partner’s recovery. While change can and does occur, the process does not happen overnight. Remember that taking small efforts can help your partner succeed in managing their BPD. Instead of a devoted caregiver, they may benefit from a firm partner who emphasizes responsibility.

“I noticed my symptoms were a lot stronger and more dysfunctional when I was in a relationship,” she says, who was diagnosed in March 2021. There is also an “ongoing debate” in professional circles, says Dr Romaniuk, as to whether BPD is in fact a personality disorder, or a reaction to past trauma. Since a person with the disorder is constantly looking for signals they could be abandoned, they might get stuck thinking a partner’s words or mannerisms mean something they don’t. Often, after a person with BPD cools down, they’ll beg their partner for forgiveness.

When he got out, I was 17 and he couldn’t really make me see him at that point. I stupidly decided to give him one last chance. I think I really just wanted to see if he had finally changed. ChinaLoveCupid But the truth is he never will, so I decided to go no contact with him on February 6th, 2022. Borderline personality disorder historically has been viewed as challenging to treat.

He began verbally abusing my kids and me each night after more and more drinks supplemented with antihistamines to increase the effect. Deliberately left my dog out and told me it wasn’t his problem (he’d finished with me again at that point). It got severe enough the kids were out and he verbally attacked, then physically attacked me, punched holes in the walls and left the dog out. For the third night I had to just leave and go to a friend’s house late at night. I ended up having to go to police to get him to break the pattern.

How is borderline personality disorder treated?

Knowing there is a lot he can say or do to help my pain yet he chooses not to hurts. It’s easy to confuse the behavior of a BPD with Narcissistic personality disorder. I believe though, that the difference is that the BPD person actually does care and love, where as the narcissistic person is not capable.

We went on multiple weekend trips, spent a fortune just to be abused. Took a lot of talking to keep her from being commited in the city. The hotel manager wanted to call the cops and ambulance.

These healthcare providers can help you address the BPD symptoms that are most damaging to you and to your relationship. When a person with BPD senses a shift in their partner’s feelings, whether real or imagined, they may immediately withdraw. They can become angry and hurt over something a person without BPD would not react to.